Otra redacción...

La verdad es que me estás siendo de gran ayuda, te agradecería si nuevamente pudieras echarle un vistazo a esta otra redacción. Mil gracias.
In my opinion I consider that my lifestyle is healthy and I am fit. I usually do enough sport on week, for example gym, footing, cycling,... And also is very important have a good diet. Don´t eating fatty foods and sweet abuse, and not drinking alcoholic. Smoking, it is today one of the mayor problems for the society healthy. Is contrasted by medical and studies, that smoking is harmful to health, so I decide don´t smoke for my health.
I have spoken about the physical activities and eatings behaviors, but also is very important for keep a good lifestyle, a good mental, or the psychic part For me the sport help me to have "healthy mind in healthy body" But, I think, as we readed in the text one, that we must encourage good exercise habits from an early age in childrens, and also we have to help children a keep a good nutrition, to prevent obesity and other problems.
Respuesta
1
Claro que sí, por cierto soy compañera!
In my opinion, I consider I have a healthy lifestyle and I am fit. I usually do quite a lot of sport every week such as going to the gym, jogging, cycling and so on. I also avoid eating too much sweet food and I do not drink alcohol. I think smoking is one of the major health problems in our society, it has been proved through medical studies that smoking is very harmful for our health so I decided not to take up smoking.
As I have mentioned, physical activity and eating habits are very important, but to keep a healthy lifestyle we also have to consider our state of mind. For me sport helps me have "a healthy mind in a healthy body"
To achieve all of this, as we read in text one, we must encourage good exercise habits from an early age in children and help these children to keep a healthy diet in order to prevent obesity and other health problems.
Ya está.
Gracias por tu rapidez, y me alegra saber que eres compañera. Tus correcciones hacen que mi redacción sea perfecta, pero que puntuación le darías a mis redacciones, estarían para un 5???
Gracias, de nuevo, y si necesitas algo en lo que te pueda ayudar, me dices. Saludos.
Pues yo sí que te pondría un 5 o más, porque aunque tienes faltas puedo entender lo que quieres expresar y de estructura y contenido están bien, lo único que a algunos profesores les gustan un poco más largas. Pero todo depende del profesor, en una misma redacción un profesor te puede poner un 4 y otro un 7.
Me alegro poder ayudarte, intento limitarme a corregir tus faltas sin cambiar la redacción. En la estructura y el contenido el mérito es tuyo, así que sigue haciendo redacciones que con la práctica te saldrán cada vez mejor!
Un saludo y gracias a ti también. Hasta otra!

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